Gladiators
by titan scientist
Summary: He supposed that next time he would forget about the people who knew nothing about them. After all, his squad had died to protect their dysfunctional family.


**I just recently re-watched the episode when Erwin calls for the retreat of the Recon Corps from the female-titan after she makes titans consume her, and Levi wonders what will happen to Eren and the Corps when they return empty-handed once more. Then, after the episode was done, because my iPad is just awesome like that, Glory and Gore by Lorde came on Pandora and I seriously made that connection that only the author of the story thinks is actually a connection, while only a select few readers actually understand why they made it and then think, "It's a connection...I guess..." XD**

**By the way, this is totally a LeviHan fic, because that couple is just so I awesome I just can't even *fangirls all over the place* I was so caught up in the pairing and keeping it in-character that I hope the ending isn't botched too bad XD**

**Also, the lovely cover art was made by _wintaamero _on .**

**So, needless to say, this little oneshot was inspired by Glory and Gore (for some reason). Hope you enjoy :)**

* * *

_"You could try and take us_

_But we're the gladiators_

_Everyone a rager_

_But secretly they're saviors_

_Glory and gore go hand in hand_

_That's why we're making headlines_

_You could try and take us_

_But victory's contagious"_

_~ Glory and Gore; Lorde_

* * *

The dusty sound of horse hooves and wagon wheels is the only thing heard for miles, with the occasional sob of a green soldier mourning their dead friend and then a weak consolation following. The buzz of adrenaline and terror had sucked the other sounds out of the air long ago, and all that remained was a drained sort of horror in knowing the fact that once they returned to the walls, there would be families expecting sons and daughters and big brothers and big sisters that would never come home.

Although it was said that that was the part that was never gotten used to, Levi could claim that's he's become numb to it, which is almost the same thing. Almost ironically, he had subconsciously set up his defenses in the form or three walls: distraction, substitution, and resolve to do even better next time, which was the ever crumbling outermost wall, constantly being repaired and clogged with boulders.

Sometimes, Levi felt as if he was running out of room in the crowded wall that held the deceased wills to fight. He felt like there would only be a few more wills he could take on before he had to start leaving people outside his mental walls, deceased or alive.

As the steeply diminished force of Corps members sighted the small, overtaken settlement that marked the eastern entrance into Wall Rose, a sense of tired urgency overtook the formation and a subtle increase in speed. The top of the huge wall was obscured by an orange haze of sunlight, and Levi cursed under his breath. He could already see the scornful and disappointed faces lining the streets.

People who criticize his subordinates and superiors like dogs at a show. They never stopped to think about the scars their comrades left behind; what kinds of noises that Titans made when crunching down on their dearest friends.

No, the only thing that mattered was the fact that their tax dollars had gone towards the failure of another expedition.

That part was the part that he would never get used to. He could only trudge forward and give the onlookers a menacing glare while contemplating who he would need to replace his exterminated squad.

The whole way into the dilapidated settlement, Hanji kept giving him weird looks from a few horses away. A couple of times they met eyes, but then Levi would scowl and look at his hands on the reins.

The sun was so hot, Levi could feel the back of his head burning.

A few minutes later, the pathetic clump of returning Corps members alerted themselves to the sound of trembling earth. Coming from the west side of the settlement, a ten-meter-class barreled at an abnormal speed, its face contorted into an expression of grief, much like the ones that the returning soldiers wore. No one bothered to fire a flare. It had been spotted by everyone.

However, many of the green soldiers tensed when there was still no sign of the support team that was supposed to be.

While Erwin signaled to speed up, Levi gave the reins of his horse to some younger soldier next to him and launched into the air to get rid of the threat. The fresh wound of the loss of his squad blazed in his mind and darkened the hatred in eyes as he swung with deadly speed and precision towards the rogue titan. The familiar jolt of grappling hook on building propelled him towards the nape, and the image of Petra smashed into a giant tree with blood laced across her lily features made his hands almost dent the handles of his gear as he sliced through the titan's neck.

Levi made a face as steam blasted up from the dead titan and its blood coated his hands and blades, causing more steam to fly into his face. As he put his eye on his horse to stick a landing, Levi felt more than one pair of eyes on him. Taking a quick glance at the running horses and their riders, he found that not only Hanji was looking at him, but several other people were as well, all with stunned expressions. Scowling, Levi made a a few more swings on his gear, deciding to keep to the air because everyone was already almost to the gate.

His gas was nearly depleted when he landed next his now walking horse, and the newbie he had given his reins to practically threw them at him when he stretched out a hand. Since formation was no longer a priority, Hanji had made her way over to Levi, that annoying look on her face as though she was feeling bad for him. His scowl deepened when the scientist stopped next to him, their horses nuzzling each other in greeting.

"What is it, shitty glasses?"

"You chopped that titan's head clean off. And you were almost out of gas. And Erwin had it under control. There was no need." Hanji went straight to the point, her concerned eyes slipping knowingly in Levi's onyx glare as the two walked into the bright, glaring sunlight of mid-afternoon. Levi could feel the disappointed and poorly-expecting eyes of many citizens slowly gathering around the ritual procession from the gate. This walk had long since been dubbed by a few veterans, "The Jeer Parade."

"You once told me that every time you go to kill a Titan, you risk your life. That you'll die from what you do every day, when you're least expecting it," Hanji continued, trying not to look at the growing masses lining the streets. People were simply dropping what they were doing to go out and get an update on Recon activities. When Levi simply stared at the road, Hanji got irritated. "Levi! Listen to me!" She didn't yell, but her whisper was harsh enough to make Levi look up and give her an absolutely livid glare.

Rapid footsteps and panting came up from a sidewalk.

"Corporal Levi! My daughter is in your squad! I'm Petra's father."

* * *

The only sound in the dining hall was howling of wind and shaking window panes. The small candles and torches placed strategically around the large space were the only sources of light, creating a sort of moody feeling and glancing back off of the windows that were splattered with little trailing water droplets. The cup of tea in front of the Corporal had long since gone cold as he stared blankly into the scrubbed-clean-but-still-gritty walls of stone across the room. Occasionally his gaze would shift to the empty chairs placed around the grainy table, but they would then quickly flit up to the wall again in something of a haste.

This cycle had been going on ever since Levi dismissed a grieving Eren to go to sleep about an hour ago. He couldn't stop thinking about how just that morning, the table had been full of the noise and energy the Recon Corps always brought anywhere with them. That was something he had always loved about them. They filled the places that were forgotten, unused. They filled them with voices and laughter and conversation and banter and food and warmth and, god forbid, messes and dirt and sweat. They filled them with life and somehow managed to actually forget that they would probably die the next day.

The sound of slow, confident footsteps coming down the stone steps and into the dining hall jolted Levi from his stupor. When he got an idea of who it might be, he took a casual sip of the tea, which by now tasted like "absolute horse piss". Regrettably, Levi swallowed the horrible beverage and continued to stare at the wall, albeit more acutely. It was more of an inspection of dirt particles and brick grooves thatn actual thinking as Hanji made her appearance behind him.

"I don't want to hear about your stupid experiments, shitty glasses."

And the walls went up once more. Hanji sighed, but didn't reply. She simply sauntered over to the chair next to Levi, the one that Eren had sat in a while ago. Her mahogany eyes looked at the table and one of her index fingers picked at a minuscule crack in the wood with a dirty fingernail, and she seemed to be contemplating something.

Levi sipped his horse piss tea in dark-eyed silence.

It was a few minutes of the mental standoff before Hanji made her move.

"Have you ever thought about how you can spot Recon Corps soldiers in a crowd? I mean, maybe it's because we _know_ who they are, but still. You can just tell because they you can see how they talk to each other. Have you ever seen other Corps actually having conversations with each other, like, not just shouting orders or talking business, but just, you know, talking? I guess that's why it feels good to be called a "crazy Recon Corps freak."

Her words were met with silence, but the scientist continued, the torch light glinting off of her glasses as she dug at the wood in thought.

"Everyone in the Recon Corps has known each other for a long time, often until their last days. It's probably because no-one could ever join by themselves. Well, except for Eren, maybe." Hanji smiled faintly, recalling how she had joined the Corps with Mike, though not requiring much persuasion due to her horrible revenge spree.

"It's like the strong friends drag the indecisive friends into this place, and then the weak friends become strong and the strong friends become stronger. In between the expeditions, it's almost easy to forget that there is any more to it than training with your buddies. But then, when you do go on and expedition, and people die, friends maybe, comrades, always. When you get back, if you get back at all, you're just glad that you've still got more comrades and friends the did make it back. Then, you walk through the streets and relive the deaths of the friends that never made it home while angry citizens talk about their taxes being wasted just so your friends could go die for their sake. You relive their deaths with the friends who did make it back."

Levi set his tea on the table as he tightened his grip on the handle, his knucles turning white.

"And then you think that no-one could hate people more than you do in that moment. You think that no-one understands how it feels to be scorned for losing comrades right and left just to fail the mission. You get back to your dorm at night, and think about how you will ever live without the people you lost, but then you hear other people talking and thinking about it, and you realize that everyone lost people. Everyone lost people that meant more than family to them, and suddenly you can relate to people you've never said more than two words to. And then, the next time you walk in the streets among the crowds of people who are so dissapointed and you know that you're not the only one having to deal with it, but that you _are_ a part of a single group that can take the pressure.

Hanji looked up at a falsley stoic Levi, who had not released his death grip on the mug, her eyes burning into his staring-but-not-indifferent, slate gaze.

"And you realize, that no matter what any of the individuals mean to you, you would die to protect the people who understand you more than family. You would disregard the ignorant views of the many to focus on the few. The people who became your family, and maybe more."

Levi shifted his gaze to Hanji and took a sip of his drink.

"And you understand why Petra and Auruo and Gunther and Eld died to keep that family together, and why they wouldn't want to make stupid decisions like endangering your life for no reason."

With that, Hanji stood up and strode briskly in her "science walk" that only meant business needed to be attended to.

Levi finished his horse-piss tea and breathed in the stale air of the room.

He supposed Petra and the others wouldn't mind being pushed into his "resolve to do better" wall so he could work with shitty glasses. To move on to the people who had become a dysfunctional family. The person who had so sneakily become a little more than that.

And next time, he supposed he'd forget about the people on the Parade who didn't really know them.

And he supposed that he'd focus more on getting Hanji to take baths every day. Maybe twice a day.


End file.
